As Told by Zero
I have a memory.. it is distant, cold.. and dark. Why would my caregivers take a cat on a boat?
It Started Out as a Regular Evening
Just after dinner, mom and Random Guy threw me into the loud-mobile. I had just finished eating and was on my way to the basement to nap on the couch when I heard the grumble of the loud-mobile starting.
I turned at the top of the stairs and saw mom. She was wearing a hat with a brim, and she had a crazy look in her eyes. I turned to run but she was too fast. She held my arms and legs and kissed me on the top of the head a few times. I cringed and sighed. She put my harness on, and I resisted. The loud-mobile is loud and bumpy. She brought me in, and I sat on her lap. Saying anything to object would mean I’ve given up. I stayed quiet.. .mostly.
A Place with Lots of Water
We got to this place and Random Guy backed the loud-mobile into this giant cup of water. It was like a toilet but way bigger. I’ve never seen this much water. It looked cold. Is this how it all ends? Were they really going to cut my life short like this?
I sat with mom on the seat of the dusty machine. Random Guy left. She took off my harness and when I looked back, she had a different harness. It was a bright green and it looked heavier. She called it a “life jacket”. I wasn’t sure but she forced it on me. “Life jacket” sounds like something that someone living should have. This could be a good thing.
Random Guy came back, and mom left. He drove the loud-mobile over to park and then grabbed me and we went toward the water. There was this rickety, wobbly ground he walked on. He stepped onto this big cup and sat down. Mom took our photo. I didn’t smile. Where the heck are we? There are so many smells. I’ve been in this cup before. I went to the warmer part, inside. It was cozy in here. But still more smells. I looked out the window. So much water.
We All Get into this Cup
The cup started tipping slightly and there was a sound outside. Random Guy was pulling a tiny rope a lot. It looked awkward. Why’s he doing that? I focused my eyes on mom. She was staring at me from outside, blocking the exit as if I wanted to run outside. This lady doesn’t know me at all. Can’t she see I’m terrified? There was another sound and Random Guy stopped pulling. This sound was like the loud-mobile, but smaller. We started moving.
Sailing Away
I peeked out the window to see what was happening. I saw a couple other cups floating past us. There were a bunch of cups parked on the water with more rickety pathways leading to them. I could see birds sometimes. It was bright. And the water kept, like, coming at us? It was moving oddly, and I still don’t know if I liked it or not. It was kind of creepy, honestly.
Mom grabbed me to make me look out. I peeked over the edge once. It was still creepy. And cold. And smelly. What kind of cats lived in there? Mom took more photos, and I still did not smile.
It was scary but I also felt happy to be invited this time. They kept saying “boat” so I realized this was the boat they had always spoken of. They used it all summer and never let me join them! I guess this means they trust me now. Why they would wait until it’s almost winter to bring me, I will never know.
I went back inside and smelled around. They have lots of stuff in there.
Why I Hid
Suddenly, there was a huge bump and a small crash. I ran. I didn’t even think about it. I was sniffing around the sink one minute, and back behind their luggage the next.
Instincts are weird. After several minutes they came looking for me. I stayed quiet. I don’t think I’m cut out for this lifestyle. Maybe boating is just for people. Maybe I’ll tell them “Thank you for inviting me, but I don’t think this is actually for me. I don’t quite enjoy it that much but I really appreciate being invited. Take me home now. I think I’m meant to be a cat on a boat. Thank you.” That sounds respectful and I think they would really respond to that wording. You know, it’s funny-
Random Guy grabbed me mid-thought.
My Speech
He jumped out of the boat and onto a different wiggly pathway. There were people all around, and lots of dogs! And smells. Random Guy lead the way with mom following us. I guess now’s as good of a time as ever. I began my speech.
“Thank you for inviting me, but I don’t think this is actually for me. I don’t quite enjoy-”
“That’s a funny looking dog.” A man commented as we passed.
Wow. Rude.
“He bites.” My mom replied as we hustled past.
Thanks mom.
“…As I was saying, I don’t think this is for me. I don’t quite enjoy it that much, but I really appreciate being invited. I’m not meant to be a cat on a boat. If you’d just take me home, I think we could really have a nice evening there.”
“Wow he’s really got a lot to say” Mom commented.
Jesus Christ.
On Solid Land
We were finally on solid land. Look! There’s grass here. Wow! Okay, let’s go this way.
Random Guy put me down and I lead them to this big house. It was a red structure. I think we live just past this one. I circled it a few times. They said we were on Newcastle Island. At least were on land now. I don’t think I can be on the boat again. Take me home.
“Should we head home?”
“Yeah, it’s going to be dark soon.”
Finally, some common sense.
They grabbed me and took me back to the wiggly ground.
No! I protested again as they walked me to the boat.
Cat on a Boat Again
They chucked me in. The sound started again and we began to move. I peeked out the window but couldn’t see much. Other boats and some water, but it was getting dark. I sat in a lump on the bed, waiting to be home.
Back on Regular Land
We made it to land and they put me in the loud-mobile. Mom held me again. Random Guy loaded up the boat onto the loud-mobile, then drove it over to splash a different water on it. I didn’t understand but he seemed to like it. We drove home and I went to bed immediately after I ate my nighttime snack.
What a day.
See what mom thought!
This is her perspective of taking me on the boat!
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